Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Pardon the Interruption

A busy and rather turbulent Christmas Week culminated at a less than eventful Korean Teacher DYB party during which I played my first 'live music' ever, not counting that one song at Crunchy's. My parents arrived on Friday evening for a 'week' in Seoul. SSFL winter friendly matches began this Sunday followed by the beginning of DYB's "Winter Intensive" or "Winter Camp" only this Monday. Parents leave on Thursday, I'll finally get to sleep on Friday, hopefully, and I still haven't gotten around to polishing off the last three chapters of Atlas Shrugged. . .though I've sure 'learned' a lot in the process.

I'll elaborate, but hopefully not too much, on these events, and more, in the coming week. Poorly lit ski pictures to come too! Until then, enjoy a good book, or perhaps stop by another corner of this vast blogosphere. . . I hear it has unlimited information, and opinions, to offer.

Happy (almost) New Year

Monday, December 22, 2008

Let's go up to the mountains. . .

During a grueling four hour long rehearsal for the DYB Song, which we might not even have a chance to perform, Nate received a welcomed phone call from Joseph letting us know that he was up for skiing on Sunday. While he mentioned the possibility of going early last week, he asserted that no final decision could be made until Saturday night. . .we can only assume that the eventual choice was contingent on how much he was planning to drink after finishing a six day work week!

Excited by the opportunity to get out of Seoul for the day we agreed that it would be best to get to bed early, seeing as how Joseph set our departure time at 9:00am. Even so, Saturday is one of our only chances to get out of Junggye in the evening and thus eat somewhere other than a gimbapchongook. . .I know, you think it's disgustingly repetitive, so do I, but you find somewhere else to it Junggye at eleven o'clock at night, okay!?

Not having been out with us in a while, Cleo decided to tag along and managed to talk Miran in to joining us on a quick trip to grab a bite in, well, obviously, Itaewon. With so many international choices and so little time left in Seoul (no, I'm not planning on being fired, I'm just optimistically hopeful that I'll find a good enough reason to bail soon) I've decided that I'd be depriving myself of vast cultural opportunities if I were to begin frequenting the same restaurants. So, each time we go to this world hub we try to eat somewhere new. There are of course two exceptions to this rule. The first are street doners, which, in fact are served up by a variety of different nationalities and cannot possibly be passed up. The second exception, as the most astute of readers might have surmised, is fish 'n chips at the Wolfhound; on Tuesdays of course!

It didn't take much of an argument to talk Miran and Cleo into trying out a Greek restaurant, Santorini, that we had eyed a couple weeks back. With little problem we managed to find the small second floor eatery in no time, immediately behind the Hamilton Hotel. Hoping for something in between Lou 'n Harry's and Greektown (in the big-D of course), Santorini managed to just barely make the cut. While lamb chops made the menu, apparently sheep are scarce enough in Korea to warrant gyros being made with a substitute meat. . .oh well, the tzatziki that came with made up for any complaints I could throw out there.

Though the 'girls' found their saganaki to be too salty, Nate and I both agreed, after a taste, that fried cheese is fried cheese. . .and not to ever be condemned! Again they found the fried calamari a bit too greasy though my problem would have been with the blatant presence of tentacles on the plate over the grease. . . again, the tzatziki made everything at the table taste equally wonderful. Although I was at first worried about not being able to eat my fill, probably due to my last experience at the Bulgarian restaurant, I left Santorini quite satisfied. On top of it all, the best part of the meal was probably the little three bite salad that I had before anything else. It's been ages since I've had a legit salad and even longer since my last helping of real Greek dressing. . . again, oh how I miss Lou 'n Harry's.

Anyways, after dinner we made a quick stop by Woodstock to, luckily, catch the last of 'the Trio's' set. . .while they're not quite George, Johnny and June these three little Koreans rip up a mighty tight storm! As the following act took the stage we took sanctuary outside, far away from the piercing noise! Back home and to bed by one in order to be ready for the day of riding ahead!

On to Saturday. . . sorry for the delay. . . I woke up a little after eight having agreed to meet Nate for breakfast as twenty after. We strode across the street to McDonalds to catch the elusive MickyD Breakfast and put to use the 2 for 1 coupons we snagged out of the bag of this, and every, month's Groove magazine. After painfully trying to order an egg mcmuffin set with and orange juice and a coffee, I eventually relinquished my request for both as I was continually informed that 'set comes with one drink.' Thus, as soon as I had paid for my set, with coffee, I immediately ordered an orange juice.

Assuming that my actions would have made clear my initial intentions, Nate followed suit ordering two drinks, not before being cut by two Korean women who literally pushed past him, the only other customer in line, to order first. Unfortunately, by the time Nate got around to ordering, the cashier must have forgotten that the waygookin ordering two drinks fully intended to pay for both and was not trying to scam Ronald MD out of a free drink. . .alas, it was no use and Nate had to order a single drink set, then return to order his OJ. . . silly Kowea.

Running a bit late, we headed back towards Doota, ready to go, just a few minutes before nine, our departure time set by the driver, Joseph. Unfortunately, just then, Nate received a message from Joseph saying that he'll see us at ten. . . uh, 'no, now,' Nate suggestively replied. It was no use. A little after ten Nate called Joseph and, apparently, woke him up. Of course having dragged myself out of bed and forced a coffee down the hatch I was unable to get anymore rest, instead spending the previous hour (which would turn out to be longer) sitting, staring at my computer screen wishing I was asleep or on a mountain.

I called Nate soon after he spoke with sleepy Joseph and learned that our departure was again pushed back. I in turn spent the next half hour continuing to stare at my computer screen as meaningless images and words passed by. Around 10:45 Nate called me insisting that I put pressure on Joseph. I obliged and was subsequently informed that Joseph was on his way and would be at Doota in less than ten. I quickly packed up and headed over to Nate's place to share the good news. Fifteen minutes later I got a call from Joseph impatiently demanding to know where I was and why I wasn't out back waiting. . .oh, I'm sorry, I was there at nine, two hours ago, when we were supposed to leave. . .sometime since then I decided that I should be able to rest upstairs on the comfort of a couch. . . silly me!

Finally, a little after eleven we were on our way! Well, almost, we had to swing by S-Oil to fuel up and 7-11 to, well, fuel up. About 80 km into our 155 km drive towards Hoengseong we pulled off to a rest stop to grab some lunch and unload some weight. After a piping hot bowl of dok (chewy rice cake) ramyeon we were back on the road. Around 1:30pm we stopped at a rental shop on what appeared to be the outskirts of a small mountain town.

For only 15,000 won I rented a 160 board (super awesome yellow flower pattern) and size 285 boots! Not a bad deal at all! On top of it, we got 30% of our lift tickets for renting wherever we did. . . or at least Joseph claims that we did! I'm really not sure how any of the transaction went down but apparently our lift tickets were delivered to us once we made it to the resort by a rep for the rental shop. . .not sure what was really happening but it got us up the mountain!

After a bit of locker trouble we were on the gondola headed to the top of Hyundai Sungwoo Resort! I don't care, or know how really, to delve into 'ski writing' so I'll keep it short (ha, you say, watch this. . .).

While Sungwoo had a bit on Boyne it was a far cry from Breckenridge! With a little more than 1000 feet of vertical we could go from top to bottom in less than about two minutes. . .gunning it that is! We gave every lift, except the 'Family Chair,' a fair shot but continued to return to the same curving run that went off the backside. A long groomer this trail provided us with the best mixture of stupid little jumps (which there are very few off), decent (though man made) snow, and of course a grade that perfectly allowed for point and shoot racing! Though it would have been nice to cover a bit more terrain, only about half of the runs were open as a number of them were almost entirely bare. Oh well, it was still a blast!

What I'd like to discuss ad nauseum but simply don't know how, and really don't want to (believe me, it's as boring for me to write this as it is for you to read. . .I swear one day I'll figure out how to say what I want to in a manageable number of words. . .gimmie a deadline and a word count and I'll be on) is the plain spectacle of a Korean ski resort. From the brightly colored snow suits (which are really inexplicably absurd and my pictures do not do justice to what can only be described as neo-modern retro) to the furry animal hats the whole thing looks like a bad joke. Not to mention billboards, giant TVs and terrible Korean pop music stimulating your every sense as you try and relax in the peacefulness of nature.

We caught a two hour break from 4:30 to 6:30 while they cats groomed up for night skiing and then hit the mountain hard (aside from Joseph's numerous calls for rest) until 9:30pm when we decided to take off. Here the real fun started!

I imagined that going home would take long due to the traffic. I never imagined that Joseph would intentionally lengthen the trip due to absurdity! After getting out of our wet clothes and out to the car. Joseph insisted on waiting for a good fifteen minutes before moving. First, he had to brush off the windows. . .okay, understandable, a half inch of snow could ice over by the time you start driving. But, even after the windows were cleared and ready to go, he insisted that we not move until the car warmed up. Now, I've always been one to drive a cold car hard in order to warm it up quicker. . .but apparently that's not how it's done over here!

A few minutes down the road we hopped out to quickly and painless drop off my rental. . .at this point Joseph called in our 51,000 won payment for the lift ticket. . .apparently, he had not even purchased them earlier but was simply given them expectant that we would later return with the equipment I rented, deposit free, to pay 153,000 for the tickets. Trusting, or stupid!?

Another couple minutes down the road we stopped in 'town' for a dinner of seolleongtang. A couple spicy, like, really, really, spicy, peppers, and some 'bachelor kimchi' later, we were on the road again. . . or, at least outside in the snow. It took Joseph another ten minutes to wipe down the dusting of snow that had accumulated on the windshield before he would even consider getting in the car! Before deciding to finally get going Joseph noted that we would have to drive much slower because we didn't have any chains to put on the tires. . . .at this point there was perhaps three quarters of an inch of snow on the ground. . . and less on the roads!

A few seconds up the road we again had to stop at a convenience store to get snacks for the ride back. Luckily it didn't snow enough while we were inside to warrant yet another exhaustive wipe down, though we did have to wait a minute to make sure the car was still warm. Finally out of town and on the highway I thought we'd be on our way home once and for all. Again, silly me.

Pulling out onto the highway the car's windshield was immediately splashed with slush from passing cars. Having been using his wiper fluid liberally the whole way up the mountain, it was no surprise when nothing came out on the way back down. Unwilling to drive with a smudgy windshield, probably rightly so, we pulled off at the next gas station to fill up with washer fluid. The nice part about gas stations here is that you don't have to get out for anything meaning that there was no time for the snow to build up warranting another brush off.

Pulling out of the gas station, well, we didn't actually get all the way out. Joseph pulled forward a few meters and again stopped, jumped out and grabbed a can of something out of something out of his trunk. Apparently he had purchased some spray on rain shield for just this purpose. The only problem was that it required the windshield to be wet to apply and he had just drank the last of his water. . .which he had me search for for a few minutes in the back of the car.

He pondered spraying it on then decided that following the instructions was a better idea. Thus we hit the road and pulled over at the next rest stop to grab some water. Outside the car Joseph sloshed water on the windshield then quickly wiped it down. I had to remind him that the purpose of getting the water was not for him to clean his window but to apply the rain repellent or whatever it was. . . Oh yeah!

After spraying down the windows we of course had to wait until the chemical dried and fulled filled the car with fumes. Finally we hit the road, reassured by Joseph that he would try not to fall asleep. We eventually made it home a little after one, more than three hours after setting out. The absurdity of the trip was not how long it took but the pure reason why it took so long!

Sorry it's a rather anticlimactic ending. . .I don't even know how this got drawn out this long. . .believe me, I would rather have not spent this much time telling you all about nothing! Oh well. . .so that's what it's like to go skiing in Korea. . .or with Joseph at least! We do have another adventure planned over our Lunar New Year holiday where we're supposed to meet up with a random group of about 16 people and spend two days up at Phoenix Park Resort. . .perhaps going with other waygookin will be a different experience. . . though that's not necessarily a good thing.

Good Night. . .

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Quick Update

Just a quick update here to catch you up and leave you hanging as I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write this upcoming week.

This past week we covered Superb Speaking/Writing Unit 8 in the majority of my classes, meaning we have finished the Superb series book. While this is exciting in that I don't have to deal with it ever again, it's also a bit unnerving as I am unsure of what the following week holds. From what I imagine, it will be up to me to design and implement actual 'lessons.' I surmise this based on Nate receiving such instructions from his Korean teachers. Mine. . .well, this week I worked with a new teacher who replaced Moon Young and a substitute in Anna's class. . .in turn, I have no clue what I'm supposed to be doing next week as neither of them informed me of anything.

I know what you're thinking, 'just do some Christmas lessons for the week, duh.' Well, I wish it were that simple. . . first off, if you have any idea how to take up two hours with Christmas lessons, please, enlighten me, I'd be happy to implement anything you suggest. On top of having to do actual 'lesson planning,' I will have only Monday morning to actually prepare.

Why not tomorrow? Well, because Joseph decided that we should go skiing tomorrow! Now don't get me wrong, I am extremely excited to get up on a mountain tomorrow even though I hear most of the snow in Korea is icy man made bits. . .but whatever, it's not in Seoul and it's not teaching!

Why not lesson plan all Saturday then? Well because I spent the majority of the day at our final DYB Song practice! Due to Razer's obscene compulsiveness we spent four hours in the studio 'mastering' a song that we have become no better at than we were six weeks ago. Sure, it's fun, but I could think of other ways to spend my Saturday. . .like, I dunno, playing, another song during the course of two hours!?! Anyways, video from our final practice soon to come, thanks to Nate's wonderful cinematography.

Also, on a lighter note, we were given our schedules for Winter Intensive this past week. Printing them out, Joseph reassured us that they were excellent schedules; I'm pretty sure he had a hand in creating them. This, thankfully, is true! I'll post 'em later and talk about it a bit but lets just say for the next two months I'll be living on a schedule that much more resembles a human being rather than an after school drug dealer.

Anyways, that's all I have time for now, gotta get to bed, Joseph's picking us up at nine tomorrow to head up. . .while, we're actually not sure where we're going. But as long as they have board rentals, it's fine with me!

Family comes in this coming Friday/Saturday so I'll probably have even less time to write then. . .unless someone wants to do guest blogging again for me (Dad? Jay? Thanks!?).

Hope you're having a fun weekend!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

East vs. West

Ha, found these little diagrams online the other day and thought I'd share them with you.

East vs. West

I'd love to take the time to comment on them but I woke up late and have to get myself psychologically prepared to for Friday. . .a day which should be celebrated but is in my case dreaded as I have my three most populated and most uninterested classes today. Thus, I get to spend the next six hours talking AT kids who not only don't understand but don't care to try. . .

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Absurd Konglish

Today one of Nate's students managed to snatch the top dog award for most absurd Konglish t-shirt saying. In bold yellow print on a dark blue sweater, Tracey, a 13 year old female student wore the below statement without the slightest clue as to it's meaning. . .

BEAT ME
BITE ME
WHIP ME
F*CK ME
LOVE ME


Mind you, this sweatshirt, other than what it read, looked nothing out of the ordinary; so much so that Nate didn't even notice what it said until nearly the end of class when he looked up stunned in the middle of reading answers. . .

Welcome to Korea!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

"Mr. Song" by Junggye Branch

Mr. Song
by DYB Junggye Branch

[Adapted from and sung to the tune of "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows]
I was down in Daechi-dong staring at this blonde-haired girl
Mr. Song strikes up a conversation with a black-haired arirang dancer
She dances while her father teaches hanguel, to native teachers
We all want to learn hanguel, man, I wish I knew hanguel

So I go to English hogwan in morning
Sha la la la la la la la yeah uh huh...
Caught up, with Cleo, taught me some o' them Hangeul phrases like
Nanun ee hagwonee choayo (나 는 이 학원이 좋아요)

So pass me the soju, Mr. Song
Believe in me. Help me believe in D-Y-B
'Cause I want to be someone who achieves yeeah

Mr. Song and me read each other Time magazine and we
Teach all the beautiful children
"They're learning from you. Ah, no, now they're learning from me."
Smiling in the classroom, doing my best to keep control and
When all the children love you, it's not about the money
I wanna paint my picture. Paint myself in D, Y, B you see
All of the wonderful teachers are very meaningful
Mr. Song is my favorite teacher, I felt so wonderful yesterday
If I knew Lee Myung-bak I would have him give the man an award and say

Mr. Song and me look into the future
See all the beautiful children
"They're learning from you. Yeah I think they're learning from we."
Standing in the classroom, I'm glad to be in Choisun
Well all the children love me, it's not about the money

It's not about the money, no
Not about the mooooneeeyy

I want to be Korean. Yeah, everybody wants to play as Reds.
We all want to be Choisun stars, but we got good reasons for that.
Believe in me because I believe in DYB
And I want to be someone to achieve, to achieve, to achieve yeeeah.

Mr. Song and me stumbling through the norebong
Yeah we stare at the beautiful teachers
"They're perfect for you, man, they're perfect for DYB."
I want to be Big Bang
Mr. Song wishes he was someone just a little more funky
Well everybody loves you, Mr. Song, that's just about as funky as you can be.

Mr. Song and me staring at the video
When I look at the television, I want to see Song staring right back at me.
We all want to be teachers, but we all know why, and we all know how.
Because all the children love me, Choisiun makes me as happy as I can be.
Mr. Song and me. . . we all love D. Y. B.

Foreign Teacher Christmas Party

Well. . .at least we didn't end up performing Britney Christmas carols! After our experience in DYB showmanship at the parent teacher meeting last Thursday, Nate and I decided that there were a few strategic moves we needed to make in order to put Junggye Branch in contention for winning the FT Talent Show.

First, whatever we did had to revolve around or at least liberally highlight our incredibly self. . .um, 'aware,' CEO, Mr. Song. Second, we had to make great mention of how wonderful of a company DYB is. Third, song and dance are always appreciated; the more involvement the better. Fourth, key concepts to include are 'teamwork' and 'family.'

With this information in mind, I set to work Thursday afternoon devising a fail-proof performance, as the majority of my students decided that they need not show up for academy after having just finished taking a dozen tests in four days. . .understandable!

As my previously mentioned Beatles>Marley>Counting Crows>Christmas Carol medley was shot down, I decided to refine it a bit, eventually whittling my choices down to two songs. Both were covers but with inventive 're-wording' to reflect that which Mr. Song holds so dear to his heart: himself, and DYB, also known as Choisun.

During the first break Nate caught up with me in the preliminary stages of my re-writing. He quickly looked over my work and suggested that my first option, 'No Hogwan, No Cry,' sounded a bit too depressing and even possibly anti-DYB. . .

No hogwan no cry (x4)

Say, say, I remember when we used to teach
In a Choison acadmey in Junggye
Obba, observing 'de people walk
Across the street at Eunag sa-gori

Good teacha's we had
Oh, good teacha's we've lost
A-long da' way, ay, ay, ayyy
In 'dis great future,
You can't forget your past
So dry your tears, I say

No hogwan no cry (x4)


I guess I can see where he's coming from. . .so, I dropped work on my Marley edit and turned my full attention to recreating the Counting Crows' "Mr. Jones," in to a Junggye Branch original creatively titled, "Mr. Song." I spent the next few hours trying to incorporate every little fact we had learned about Mr. Song that day into this ridiculous cover that was, by the end, set to make an impression. . .whether it would be a positive or offensive one was yet to be known! You can read a transcript of the final product below.

Although we had agreed to meet up with David and Sonya, from the elementary branch, after school, they both flaked out for some reason that I don't recall so Nate and I were left to practice alone over cheese ramyeon and chamchi gimbap. By the time we let the restaurant we had worked out the majority of syllabic kinks as well as reworded any stanzas that were possibly too offensive or easily misinterpreted!

Friday morning we were again set to meet with the rest of our 'team' though practice was again cancelled due to. . .well, I can't quite recall. Anyways, I brought the baby Taylor to work so Nate and I could give it a couple practice runs before school. After work we marched over to Parthenon, the elementary school, in hopes of catching our teammates before they could make a getaway!

Luckily we were successful! While neither David nor Sonya were very familiar with the song, they both at least recognized it and agreed to give it a go as it appeared that we had poured a lot of effort in to rewriting the whole thing (which I'd like to think I did but really it was more of a way to pass the time then any grueling labor I was needlessly committed to). With the four of us together we ran through it a couple times just to kind of explain the timing on some of the more obscure lyrics. Sonya was actually enthusiastic enough about the whole thing that she asked to take home a tape I had recorded of the lyrics in order to better memorize them!

After no more than 30 minutes together, hunger took the best of everyone and we headed our separate ways; Sonya towards home, David to QuickStop and we middle school teachers towards our semi-ritualistic Friday night BBQ.

Come Saturday I spent the morning running around Eunag Sa-Gori in preparation for a long day a head. After a breakfast stop at Bagel Street Deli (don't get me wrong, this is the only normal-esque 'restaurant' on the corner and it certainly is not a 'deli'), I went wandering in search of Santa hats. Before heading to bed on Friday, Nate kindly reminded me that I offered, albeit in a joking manner, to pick up this article of our team's 'costume' for everyone and thus was obliged to do so. While I feared being unable to locate such a silly accessory on our very academic block, I ended up finding my way to a stationary/junk store just down the street next to our favorite steamed kimchi joint. There I was able to pick up four matching Santa hats for 1,000 won each. . .with that type of price I think I'll go back and grab some more to spread throughout school next week!

After fulfilling my costume duties, which, was really the only errand I had to run, I swung by Home Mart (which actually I think is called Home Plus, but I never remember and always refer to is as the former no matter what) to pick up some breakfast food, stopping at Starbucks (mmmmm, corporate coffee tastes better, it's true) on the way back to devour a toffee nut latte (mmmmm, the advertised seasonal special tastes even better) and a chapter of Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" which, halfway through, I have found myself more and more absorbed in with each page turn! <----helluva run on sentence huh!? Back at 'home' I painstakingly wrapped up my oh so sly secret Santa present(a wonderfully cute Korean winter hat that consists of an animal head attached to two long paws that act not only as gloves but can be wrapped around one's neck as a scarf as well) in the excess paper I had bought the other day. Showering and getting dressed to impress I was ready to head out by half past two. Why so early?! Well because we certainly couldn't forgo DYB Song practice just because the majority of us had an FT Party to attend! Before heading off to Gunja for band practice, Nate, Sonya, David and I all met up at the middle school to run through "Mr. Song" a few more times. Though we were far from perfect, we decided that the lyrics themselves would be more than enough to pull us through, especially if we distributed copies of them throughout the crowd and asked everybody to participate in a sing-a-long in the name of DYB 'teamwork.' Bonus points!

Again Razer insisted on driving to band practice which meant we showed up half 'n hour late as opposed to arriving almost exactly on time as the subway would have gotten us there in under half 'n hour! Oh well! Unfortunately, no one's, or at least not my, mind was on the DYB Song as I continually fretted about our performance that evening. In turn, I managed to botch our rehearsal so badly that Razer is now insisting on a four hour practice this upcoming Saturday. . .mind you we have one song. . .one, song. . . I'm not quite sure he understands the concept of complacency though I've yet to address the issue!

Making it through a painfully disconnected rehearsal Nate and I hopped on the subway towards Daechi while Sonya drove home to change (David had headed out early for a Team Leader meeting). Meeting up with two seemingly lost FT's in the subway, identified by their bright orange DYB backpacks, we headed up towards the surface with no real clue as to where to go. With directions from David, that at first led us in the wrong direction, we eventually found the Grill One Steak House no more than five minutes past the seven o'clock meeting time. Nevertheless, Mr. Lee was outside waiting with a cigarette as we showed up and ushered us in impatiently indicating that we were late. . .clearly not a big deal!

Nate and I were shown to a large booth just inside the door where David sat with three other teachers, all of whom appeared to be Korean-American, as are what seems the majority of DYB FT's. We introduced ourselves to Don, Joe (I believe, but am not certain now), and Esther, the last of whom apparently remembered meeting us at the morning meeting we had in Daechi a few weeks ago where I was too sleepy to possibly remember anyone's name! Sorry!

We asked how the dinner thing was working as they pointed us to a 'buffet' lined up on a rolling bus boy cart. Having only a bagel on the day (intentionally saving room for what we believe was to be an all you can eat steak event) Nate and I dove at the food cart only to come up inexplicably disappointed. In place of steak we found what were seriously unidentifiable chunks of meet that must have been at least equal part bone. As we stood, staring at this 'spread' in utter disbelief, Mr. Lee came up from behind, reassuring us that the bone was the good part as we could suck the meat off it. . .sure, I'll try.

I took a few small pieces back to the table and gave up after the first one was nothing but fat mixed in with a few hard chunks of cartilage. Only after had Nate and I both retired from trying to consume any more did someone politely inform us that we were eating pig feet. Well what a wonderful way to start off a steak dinner! We looked at each other in shock, not sure whether or not we were expected to accept this unkosher (in more ways than one) dish as a full meal.

David reassured us that there would be more food as Mr. Lee had previously informed him that we were to dine on tuna later in the night. In fact, Mr. Lee claimed that he had purchased the finest, most expensive tuna on all of Jeju Island to serve to us this evening. Not sure if you're catching on to the theme here but anytime Mr. Lee gives you anything, it is always of the utmost quality and unbelievably expensive. . .or so he claims. . . kinda like the zip tie I borrowed.

It turns out we did end up getting some tuna sashimi which was a wonderful surprise following the pigs feet but undoubtedly not the finest tuna in all the land. While I have a hard time knocking a tasty slice of raw fish, it is pretty clear that the finest tuna cuts are the dark red tender bits (who knows where they come from) and not the tough stringy lighter colored stuff that we were served. While there is probably a tuna expert out there who is scoffing at my lack of tuna-wledge, I ascribed to what tastes better, is better, and thus, this was not the best tuna in the land!

Finally, after what must have been an hour wait, we were eventually served our 'steak' dinner! While what we got was indeed steak, I was hardly enthralled at my 8oz sirloin as all night Nate and I had been staring at a poster of a huge cut of what could only be the worlds most succulent tenderloin. Apparently that was just an advertisement! Don't get me wrong, I am not that much of a food snob that I'll turn my mouth up at a cheap steak but, if you're advertising a great steak dinner. . .make it a great steak dinner! No worries, we ended up being ordered seconds as Sonya thought it would be a good idea for Nate and I to eat more so she could take our fatty scraps for her cockier spaniel. . . talk about a win win situation!

The night progressed rather uneventfully for a while until the talent show began at which point all hell broke loose. Aside from giving you a video recap of the evening, which apologize for not being able to do, (Nate's camera ran out of battery at the first shot I tried to take of the tuna head on a platter next to the pig's feet) there is little that I can say to describe the progression of the night. . .so I'll spare you my never ending prose and break it down to the important details.

The first group to go was a two some, with a man playing classical guitar while the woman sang Dido's "Thank You." While her singing was rather impressive, you simply can't entertain a room full of drunk FT's with an un-miced classical guitar. . .though going first, they did have the benefit of a majority of the teacher's attention.

The next group to go performed some sort of skit/song about Winter Intensive to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas.

Another group did a short, but engaging performance where the first team member took a shot of soju, the second two, and the third an entire bottle! While this hardly falls in to the category of 'talent' (though a whole soju bottle might if you've ever tasted soju) it certainly was entertaining.

The only other group, besides us of course, that really brought down the house was that of Daechi, the Main Branch. While I cannot explain exactly what they did, because a) I didn't care to watch and b) I don't care to remember. . .I can tell you it involved a good amount of fat male quasi nudity with Christmas-bell-to-nipple attachments. . . .entertaining yes. . .appalling, equally so!

Finally it was our turn. . .standing front and center I managed to hold the audience with my stage banter just long for Nate to finish up passing out our lyrics sheets after putting in a good solid half 'n hour of schmoozing to Mr. Song. To be honest, our performance went great. . .for the first verse at least. . . beyond that. . .who knows what happened. . .all I can say is that we earned a great deal of applause and Mr. Song was standing, whooping it up by the time we finished, entirely off beat, uncoordinated and equally lost from one another!

As far as I remember, though I didn't particularly give it much attention, no one that followed us challenged our performance in anyway. Thus, from what we gathered, we finished in second place to the obscene, and I do mean obscene, performance of Daechi's male revue.

I could go on about Mr. Song haphazardly accepting his gift of a tie that we all pitched in for, talking about how he took it with out really acknowledging it then later wrapped it around his head . . .but it just doesn't matter if you weren't there. Same as I could tell you about how Mr. Song continually attacked Mr. Lee as incomprehensible in each of his numerous speeches (which is true by the way). Or even how Mr. Song decided that it would be a good idea to bring up the only GI in the room to congratulate him, putting him on the spot with nothing to say and no clue as to what really was going on. But these are all events that just don't really make sense unless you're there. . . in which case they make even less sense which is why they are so fascinating. . . .Oh, not to mention, Mr. Song coming up to our table, early in the night before drinking, commenting on how he remembers us as Junggye, then pointing to David and saying 'Oh yes, you are very ugly,' and walking away without laughing or explanation. . . .No. . .not worth really delving into as this is just what happens in Korea.

Anyways, no prizes were awarded as Mr. Lee, and Mr. Song apparently decided that every body deserved a prize of 100,000 won that they promised us on the way out but we have yet to see a glimmer of. Oh well, as far as we know we came in second in the actual competition which is more than I could have hoped for practicing for our first time Friday evening. . .though I do hope for a better showing at the Korean Teacher Party in two weeks when we perform the DYB Song. . .though I can't imagine the teachers paying any more attention than they did this past weekend!

Anyways. . .I realize I just wrote a whole lot of nothing about nothing. . .but thanks for reading. . .actually, I dunno why I'd thank you for reading. . .other than it's interesting to look at my Google Analytics and see where you're reading from. . . To be honest. . .if you made it this far in this post you should probably invest in some tried and true literature cause you've clearly got some time on your hands! No, really, I'm just kidding, thanks for reading and Merry Pre-Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan and Lunar New Year (just kidding, the later is not until later January. . .duhhh)!

Enough, I'm done. . .I have yet to find out what happens to Taggart Transcontinental! If you know, please don't tell!

Who is John Galt anyways!?

Monday, December 15, 2008

Season Finale!

And so it was. . . on a cold Sunday afternoon, the Han River Spitfires took the field against a rejuvenated Democrats of America in Republic of Korea, or DA-ROK, for the final match of the SSFL 2008 Fall Season. Greatly out numbering their opponents in the previous match up, the HRS were able to rack up double digit goals in what could only be described as an all out rout! DA-ROK must have learned from their previous mistakes however and came fully prepared to play. . .well almost, they were still a player short of a full squad which worked out well as we were short a man too!

Despite the number being more even this time around, Han River managed to entirely dominate the game, playing a style of possession ball that had been all too elusive during the rest of the season. It didn't take long for our star center midfielder, highly acclaimed narcissist and unabashed womanizer, Joseph, to slop a beautiful ball over the opposing keeper's head and under the cross bar, opening up a Spitfire lead that would only grow throughout the game.

Before taking the pitch, our ever so subtle Korean teammates reminded the three wayguk, David, James and I, that we three were still yet to score on the season. Yet, of course, James and I were assigned to hold down the back while David, with his more than slightly sub-sonic speed was put out on the wing, left to the mercy of Joseph's uncatchably fast through balls.

With fewer players on what is normally an over crowded pitch, I quickly grew comfortable in my role as stopper/defending center midfielder. Having more space, and, fewer players, allowed me to push up further than I would normally, only needing to keep a distant eye on DA-ROK's less than threatening striker, who, to be honest, should have been playing anything but a sport involving coordination.

To no surprise, my numerous efforts to work my way up inside the opponent's goalie box continued to come up empty handed. Despite finding my self at the business end of a a few successful give 'n gos, a rebound off the crossbar and even a botched ball by the keeper that I ended up turning into an assist, I remained scoreless. . . for the first twenty five minutes.

In a quick transition out of our backfield I passed the ball out wide and took off up field at about half speed. As I passed Joseph at about midfield he yelled at me to go and score, telling me this was my chance. I wasted no time looking back and no energy considering his backhanded jeer. Rather, I keep ploughing down the field, always glad to use my extra energy on unnecessary runs. As the ball was crossed from the outside, DA-ROK's relatively rock solid sweeper managed to shank the ball just enough to pop it up in to my oncoming path. Still in full stride I took the ball down with one touch and laced a brilliant near post laser with my second. . . . finally!

I strode back confidently, making sure to swing by Joseph to thank him for his encouragement to which he offered a friendly, I told you so! While I had managed to finally produce offensively, I was hardly relieved of my defensive duties. Ammar, Joseph, New Guy, and I managed to hold down the back only allowing our keeper, 'Hands' (or, Han D. S. to be more specific) to rack up a single save. We went in to halftime up by a good couple goals, with a clean sheet on the other side to show for it!

Unfortunately, our clean sheet would eventually disappear, as DA-ROK managed to slip a few past a perhaps overconfident and certainly complacent Spitfire team. However, the game was far from over on Han River's side. Ammar managed to pick himself up a goal playing striker on the opposite end of the field from where he normally finds himself. Finding himself at the right place at the right time, David managed to pick up not only one but a pair of sloppy second goals! Back at defense, I had more than enough time to wait patiently and pick my battles.

Finally, an opportunity arose. With the ball buried in DA-ROK's half Joseph managed to win us a corner kick which he stood to take. Coming up from the back field I found my self an unguarded patch of green at the top of the box and indicated to Joseph that I needed that kick. True to form he dropped a dime a foot in front of me and two feet off my head, just enough space for me to launch into the air above the over crowded box and smash the ball off my cranium in to the back of the opposing net. . .all while getting a great birds eye view of the stunned keeper from my stellar heights!

I again thanked Joseph and surprisingly received a congratulatory remark in return, though clearly well deserved ;-)

I retired to play wing back for the final 10 minutes or so of the game, allowing James to get a chance attacking the net, though he was in the end unsuccessful. Hanging in the back however did not stop my lust for offensive productivity. At any open chance I would dart feverishly up the sideline calling for all and any through balls as I had decided long ago I could not only beat any of their defenders to the ball but could get back to cover my man by the time they made a transition. . .sure, a bit cocky, but it was working!

I had a good couple of runs with balls played beautifully from Sun and Joseph though my hatrick proved to be elusive. Finally, on a through ball from Sun I broke free, shook the keeper with some happy feet and 'meged him, through the five hole, for a score. . . which, Sun, playing referee in the absence of an 'official,' called back due to offsides! There goes my 'trick! Oh well. . . I had another couple chances but soon quit after taking a full blast from the opposing goalie in the side of my foot which today is as black as the turf pellets I pull out of my knees after each game.

The game ended with a final score somewhere around 8-3. . .though I'm not entirely sure. We celebrated the win, and season, with our diminutive squad at Two-Two Chicken as darkness fell over Apgujeong. While I don't think I'll be winning any league wide awards at Saturday's SSFL banquet (though someone did suggest most improved player, for my late 'appearance' as an offender), I had an awesome time this season and can hardly wait until Spring league starts up, sometime in late February I believe!

To top it all off, I managed to close out the season as Man of the Match (as I'm currently up in the weekly poll, supported by Sun Uk's endorsement)! Two goals and the game ball. . .not a bad way to end the season. . .now the only question is, what to do with my Sundays!?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Team Leaders, Time Magazine and Lemon Tree

Well what an interesting morning that was. . .I think I learned more about DYB, and my role as a teacher, before noon today than I have in three months working here. . . .

I started off today in the dark, waking up on my downstairs couch at 7:30am. No, I did not drown myself in soju last night making it impossible to climb my loft ladder but rather I find the narrowness of the couch's sleeping space more suitable for getting me up and going in the wee morning hours.

Shivering from the cold I darted into my shower hoping to warm up. Not having time to turn on the water heater (as we have to do when entering/leaving the shower) beforehand, the warmest temperature I got was slightly above luke warm. . .nothing to pleasurable but certainly shocking nonetheless. I jumped out of the shower hoping to find warmth under the small excuse of my towel, but couldn't. Still shivering violently, I wondered again why exactly did I have to wake up so early to go to a parent teacher meeting that I had no clue about?

I dressed in my 'nicest' clothes, meaning dark pants, black shoes and a shirt that I had intentionally steam pressed in the shower the day before. No tie to speak of as I either lost the only one that I thought I brought in my last apartment or, forgot to bring it all together. . .this seems insignificant though trust me, it was not!

Nate and I met downstairs at eight a.m. sharp to grab a cab for Hagye station. . .no point waiting for the bus when it comes only every 10 minutes or so and takes at least 15 to get to the station. A taxi on the other hand is usually always available as a line builds up at the crosswalk just outside of Dootvill. Not this morning however! We stood in the morning cold for a good ten minutes (I know, don't you just feel terrible for me), before finally hailing down an empty taxi. . .must've been some sort of union holiday or something!

With an hour subway ride ahead, I figured I could grab a pretty decent nap on the way to Daechi. As the train pulled into the station however it was obvious that no such nap was to be had. Nate and I pushed our way into an already over flowing subway car and then were pushed from behind as more people clamored on board. At the next half dozen or so stops no one got off but people continued to get on in the following manner. They would approach an obviously already uncomfortable subway car, turn their backs to the crowd at the door, step on and jam themselves in using the door frame for leverage.

For those closest to the door they could either oblige by showing their indifference, or disagree by throwing the person out. Unfortunately I have yet to see anybody take the second option. So, those of us stuck in the middle simply drew closer and closer together. While I'm sure everyone's been in some sort of uncomfortably crowded situation before, I cannot recall an instance when I have ever experienced this type of human density before. . .and let me tell you, it is nothing nice!

We eventually escape the terror of Line 7 by transferring to Line 3, headed south east, at the Express Bus Terminal. From there, we rode in relative luxury the twenty minutes to Daechi Station where we surfaced via Exit 1 as Joseph had instructed us to do so. Emerging from the subway we noticed the area looked somewhat unfamiliar. Stopping to look around we found what we believed to be the main branch on an opposite corner. Why do I say believed? Well, because last time we had a 'workshop' it was held at the new Main Branch which was the building that we had just visually located. . .as we were headed to a meeting at the Main Branch, we figured that two buildings were the same. . .not so.

Up on the sixth floor of the new Main Branch we were surprised by the absolute lack of activity. . .no one was there. Cautiously we poked our heads around until a teacher came down one of the hallways looking surprised. Why are you here, she asked us. Um, for the parent teacher meeting, we responded. Oh, but that's at the Main Branch. Wait, but, isn't this the Main Branch!? No, this is the New Main Branch, follow me, I'm on my way there!

So, back outside we followed our kind informant (Jenny maybe, I forget) down a couple blocks and across the street to the Main Branch; a building in which we had first met Yumi and Mr. Lee that we had believed to be closed with the opening of what we thought was a new Main Branch. . .not the New Main Branch! On the way, Jenny asked us, seemingly jokingly, if we were ready to dance and sing, to which I sarcastically responded of course. . .having no clue that she in fact asking a question, not making a joke!

Up the elevator to the fourth floor we were greeted by a long line of Korean teachers wearing smiles and big DYB buttons. We were quickly ushered around the corner and in to a Native Room where two young women, clearly fellow FT's, were waiting. We first introduced ourselves to Susie and Tiffany before inquiring as to why exactly we were here. Tiffany quickly responded: Oh, well you're attractive obviously. Probably because you're tall, with light hair and eyes. Um, excuse me, that's kind of what I thought, but only jokingly, what is it that we're expected to do? Well, you'll be standing in a line greeting the mothers as they come in for the meeting, then we'll probably have to do a skit or a song of something. Oh. Good to know, thanks.

This is not a joke. Nate and I were in a room with two young, attractive, non-Korean women, Susie from Canada and Tiffany from the beautiful Crescent City herself, expected to play the role of two, young, attractive, non-Korean males. Tiffany informed us that we were to be DYB "mascots" because we were some of the most attractive FT's and that's who they wanted the Korean mothers to see while visiting for their parent/teacher meeting. This is absurd. . . there're currently over 70 FT's in the DYB system and they selected us?! I mean, I've always known I have beautiful eyes but this is too much!

While still trying to figure out exactly what our role was Mr. Lee barged in to say good morning. The first thing that he did was take one look at me and note that I had a different hairstyle. This is only somewhat true. I would say, I have no hairstyle as I haven't gotten it cut since arriving in Seoul. Why you ask? Don't worry about it, I've never been big on hair cuts and will likely get one soon although it sure feels nice having the extra warmth up top in the winter time! Mr. Lee thought for a moment trying to describe my ruffles up top (which yes, were freshly cleaned this morning) before landing on just the right word, 'lion' he said. Yes Mr. Lee, I look like a lion, thank you for noticing.

The four of us were then ushered out in to the hallway to begin our meet and greet without the meet. On the way out the door Mr. Lee noticed that I did not have a tie on, for reasons that, if you've made it this far, you probably already know. He looked frantic then quickly slipped his off and handed it to me, insisting that I wear one, ignoring my pleas against wearing a candy cane stripped tie with rhinestones over a light blue and purple shirt. Mr. Lee insisted that color did not matter but to be sure to return the tie to him as it was a very expensive one. I assured him that I would before slipping it over my head and zipping it up. Yes, it was a zip up tie as in the kind that one can purchase in the subway station for something around 5,000 won. . .most expensive indeed!

In the hallway we were shifted from wall to wall before landing in the long line of Koreans that had initially greeted us as we stepped out of the elevator. Nate and I were pleased to see Moon Young Teacher standing in line, as she has this week moved branches to Daechi (a phenomenon that I will get around to explaining at some point, I swear). Standing in between Nate and I, teeny little Moon Young felt so uncomfortable that she eventually had to move. . .oh well, we tried to be friendly!

As mothers came up the elevator we would greet them with a bow and combination of English greetings, all of which were delivered with a disgustingly cheerful inflection normally reserved only for horrible daytime children's shows. Continuing to move themselves around, the Korean teachers were eventually adjusted such that Nate, Tiffany, Susie and I were positioned directly in front of the elevator, ensuring that we were the absolute first thing that the DYB mothers would see. In turn, as they existed the elevator, I was continually reminded of my absurdly tasteless attire and beautiful lion's mane in the elevator mirror. . .this did nothing to help my already inflated ego as myself continued to wink at I in a jeering manner!

Eventually we were joined in line by two more teachers, Jun and Melanie. After a little more than half an hour of cheesing we were told to retire back to the native room to prepare our skit. . .this was no joke! We moved down the hall to an empty classroom to not only practice but develop a song and dance routine. Apparently, Queen Bee Melanie (which I will explain) had her heart set on a parody of the song Lemon Tree by Fools Underground. Now apparently if you do not know this song you're either not Korean, haven't been in Korea long enough or, simply don't care to follow the German pop scene. . . though the last excuse was my own.

Unfamiliar with the tune, as I would be amazed if you weren't, Melanie played it for us a few times before we set off on creating our own, DYB inspired lyrics. Through heated debate, and a number of my well intentioned ideas being shot down by the Queen Bee, we eventually arrived at the song as read below, sung to the tune of Lemon Tree's chorus. . .

DYB, Choisun Hogwan
A place where you can go to learn and have some fun
'Cause what you're going to see
Is improvement in their English-ee
Da, da da da da de da da
Learning new words, and grammar too
Learning, learning, learning,
From me for you
'Cause what you're going to see
(Clap, Clap)
'Cause what you're going to see
(Clap, Clap)
'Cause what you're going to see
(Clap, Clap)
Is improvement in their English-ee

Did you sing it along with song? If not, go back and do it, it's incredible. . .to be honest, I'm not sure how you nor I have never heard of this before, or if you have, why you never shared it! I mean, come on, are you really that selfish!?

Anyways, after finalizing the lyrics we practiced it a few times then started in on the choreography; not of course before Melanie noted that it sounded alright but not great because the boys were kind of grumbling. . .to which I apologized but didn't feel like explaining the physical difference between my low, limited vocal range and that of her surprisingly remarkable one! So, Nate and I just kept on going, in full falsetto!

After nailing down the dance steps, a little bit of square dancing, a few Brady Bunch hand sweeps and a good ole' pardner twirl, we were ready to show our moves to the world. Unfortunately, just then we were informed that we weren't going to be performing the dance as we had missed the time to do so. . .uh huh. . .now this sounds like the DYB I know! So, we went back out in to the hallway, did more of the bowing and hello-ing before shacking back up in the Native Room.

Here's where the enlightenment begins. Talking with the other four English (I'd say Native but Jun is actually referred to as an International Teacher, which I assumes means he can teach both Korean and English as well as Spanish apparently. . . .to top it off he's not only normal but nice, cool guy) teachers, Nate and I soon learned about a side of DYB's organizational structure that we never knew existed. Asking a number of questions that apparently were surprising coming from three month 'veterans,' we were directed to speak to our Team Leader. Ummmm, okay, what's that!? The only time we had heard the term before was when Susie mentioned it upon our arrival, asking us if we were the Team Leaders. Seeing as how we are the only two FT's in our specific school, we had concluded, arrogantly and incorrectly, that we might possibly be co-Team Leaders. This is entirely false.

Apparently, each branch, meaning the combination of the elementary and middle schools, has a Team Leader that is sort of in charge of, or responsible for, the other Foreign Teachers in the branch. Ours, as we learned only today, is David. As he's been here for little over a month, the only reason we can imagine that it's him is due to his ability to speak Korean. . .I feel so discriminated against. . .doesn't seniority count for anything nowadays!? At least that explains why he called me Monday night to let me know about the talent show and secret Santa exchange. And here I thought he was just double checking that I had gotten the memo when he was really doing his job!

We also learned that there is a head Team Leader who 'leads' all the FT's. . .and she, is Melanie (whom if I'm spelling her name wrong and anyone that ever has a vested interest cares, please let me know as I'd be happy to change it for the sake of irrelevant history, thank you). No wonder the girl likes telling others what to do. . .it's her job! From that point forth we directed all questions to Melanie recognizing that the Queen Bee was burdened with not only privilege but a responsibility to inform her people of their duties and responsibilities. . .unfortunately we received little help from this point forth. . .here a few things we did learn, or at least clarify.
  • Team Leaders get their own DYB business cards. . .how cool!
  • Blake used to be Junggye's Team Leader which makes me think it can't be too important of a position as he was fired for doing nothing, as in, he didn't give any effort to teaching, not that he was fired for something trivial.
  • Winter Intensive lasts from January through Febuary and is a period where the students are out of public school and therefore in acadmey for the majority of the day (meaning so are us teachers).
  • During intensive, classes are relatively the same as they are during the year except longer and they start early in the morning.
  • It is okay to teach kids songs as English lessons as I did with my students in Ghana and had hoped to do here but haven't for fear of the seemingly very rigid, uncreative work environment.
  • Our 'steak and wine' party on Saturday is a Native Teacher only party with a substantial cash prize for the talent show.
  • A Britney Spears Christmas song cover will likely not interest the judge, Mr. Song. (see following).
  • Mr. Song loves Mr. Song and DYB, meaning any and all entertainment should revolve around the two.
  • The talent show for which we'll be performing the 'DYB Song' is during an all-Korean teacher party.
  • The only foreign teachers allowed at the party are those that will be performing or were specifically invited. . .so far we know only of two others besides Nate and I.
  • Mr. Song loves Time magazine and cites it as if it were his Bible. . .which it might be.
  • Mr. Song also admires Obama, not for his platforms but for his 'work ethic.'
  • If you're ever invited to a parent teacher meeting, expect to sing and dance. . .remember, you're a mascot!
  • Mr. Song employs an interesting form of organizational management in which he annually rotates teachers amongst the branches, intentionally separating those that grow too close together in order to encourage productivity, or at least discourage counter productivity.

To be honest though, the most surprising thing was learning that there was an entire hierarchy of Foreign Teachers that until now, we had been wholly unaware of. Not that it changes much but it's nice to know that we do have some sort of our own superior, or at least an 'enlightened' peer whom we can turn to with any issues that may arise.

We waited around the Native Room for a bit until Melanie decided that we should break for lunch and meet back at 12:30pm as we had been reassigned to perform at 1:00pm, the time that Yumi had initially told Nate and I we would finish with the meetings. Glad to have the chance to grab a bite, Nate and I doubled checked with our new-found ranking officer then took off for downstairs. Not having the time or patience to try and decipher local Korean menus we darted across the street to Ole' MacD's. Sitting down to my feast of beef I was surprised to find my phone ringing. Crap, I thought, Mr. Lee is going to be mad because I left with his tie even though I'll be back in just a minute. Right on the first count, wrong on the second.

It was Mr. Lee calling, and he was mad, but it wasn't about the tie! Where are you, he cried. Um, getting lunch, Melanie told us to grab something to eat. But I told you I would take you to lunch (not true, he told us Yumi would take us to lunch as he would be too busy to), why you not wait for me? I'm sorry Mr. Lee, we'd love to have lunch with you but we were told to go out and get something to eat on our own. I don't care, I wanted to buy you lunch, have you ordered yet? Well thank you Mr. Lee, we would have loved to have lunch with you too but we were told to get our own food, I'm sorry, we just ordered but we can come quickly and meet you somewhere. Grumble grumble grumble, disappointed, grumble grumble, enjoy your burger, grumble grumble grumble. Good bye Mr. Lee, sorry again and thank you for the offer!

Needless to say, while the phone call ruined my mood it couldn't touch the deliciousness of my first food of the day! We finished up quickly and headed back to the (old) Main Branch where we ran into Mr. Lee on the way up. We again apologized and thanked him for the offer and he indicated it was okay but next time we would have to eat with him. . . as if we refused a free meal on purpose. I guess that's what you get for listening to your superiors right!?

Once everyone was back from lunch we again did the line up thing for fifteen minutes or so before being given about equal time to finish up practicing. While waiting to enter the room full of Korean mothers, eager for a show, Mr. Song, Time magazines in hand, turned to Melanie and asked her a question. Can you explain what a package is? As compared to a bailout? Umm, you mean, like a stimulus package? Ahh okay, well. . .I can't remember exactly what she said but it ended up being Nate who hit the nail on the head. . .all that college really did amount to something!

Mr. Song asked Melanie if she could please speak on the issue relating it to the students in DYB. Well I wasn't able to hear everything that was said, I sure empathized with Melanie when I heard her inquire as to what 'context' she should be addressed the difference between these two macroeconomic principles. While I'm not sure what Mr. Song's response was, by the time Melanie gave he speech, she had whittled away any talk of economic stimulus or bailouts. . .perhaps a good thing as we hear enough about the two on a daily basis anyways!

Mr. Song then turned to the remaining five teachers and asked who would be willing to give a short speech. Not in the mood for an oration on Time's topic of the week I shirked back just enough to avoid Jun pointing towards Tiffany, suggesting that he needn't talk because he addressed the parents last time. Fortunately, for me at least, Tiffany agreed to talk but was unsure of her topic. Mr. Song explained to her that he would be talking about the beauty of Paris and how Paris is the best city in the world because it's residents care so much about it's beauty to make everything in it so beautiful. . .this being said to a girl who claims to be from New Orleans! It was then suggested to Tiffany that she build off Mr. Song's topic. . .not quite sure what a Tiger (yep, as in a couple dozen miles up the river from the 'Naw) Alum has to say on the topic of Parisian beauty to a room full of Korean mothers but she pulled it off well. . . enough, for the impromptu situation!

We were eventually ushered into the performance room where the six of us stood on a small raised platform about twelve feet long and less than three feet wide. At Mr. Songs command (and I do mean a barked out command, no subtle indicators there) we bowed to the room full of mothers who welcomed us in. Mr. Song then called for a volunteer to speak. It took Tiffany a second before she realized that was her cue to step forward, but she nailed it. Melanie was then called upon and she two nailed whatever she said though I missed the part about the 'package' as Mr. Song first put it. While the mother filled room nodded in agreement, I question whether anyone understood anything that was said, especially when it looked like Mr. Song asked if anyone did, in Korean, and nobody seemed to reply enthusiastically.

He then turned the stage over to us asking if we knew of a way to demonstrate DYB's 'teamwork:' our cue to start dancing! A five, six, seven, eight and off we were! Though we paused just long enough after the first time through that the room erupted in applause while we were stumbling to meet up in the second 'verse,' we made it through without a hitch. Immediately following our performance we were again commanded to bow and quickly removed from everyone's sight. . .at this point it was really solidified in my mind that we were there for no other reason that to entertain and look pretty. . . mission accomplished!

With that our morning in Daechi was concluded and we packed up to go, not before I returned Mr. Lee's tie to Yumi of course! We said good bye to everyone and took off for the subway though we all eventually met up again on the short walk. By 2:25 pm we were on the way back up to Junggye to tackle our first day of teaching after our three week hiatus.

Why and how are you posting this in the middle of your work day then? Well, after preparing my lesson I entered Ana's class ready to go. . .yet no students had shown up. Today is our first day back in the classroom because only today have students finished up the last of their dozen tests they took this week (three each day for the past four days). Ana suggested to me that they might be exhausted from their tests and want to spend the day playing with friends instead of coming to academy. She then declared that we must try to understand this of the children to which I responded I could easily accept as I was once a child myself and enjoyed time with my friends after working hard. . .what I really meant is thank God that I don't have to teach for the next two hours after I've been up traveling and working for the past nine hours now! I guess I'll thank the students next time I see them!

Other than being extremely exhausted I had a rather fun time this morning. It was really good to meet a couple other interesting FT's and certainly beneficial to learn more about DYB as an organization. I also developed some greater sense of hope for possibly enjoying the position I hold as all those that we talked to seemingly do a great deal. To a large degree I envy, at least on the surface, what appears to be a really fully integrated branch that they have in Daechi. The Foreign Teachers all hang out a lot it sound like, both with each other and their Korean Teachers while class time seems to be much more laid back and enjoyed by everyone. Whether this is just my interpretation of slightly exaggerated tales or a true statement, it gives me a glimmer of hope that one day I will actually enjoy coming to work. . .other than the days where I know I'll be watching movies all after noon!

As for Junggye, well, we're still a bit isolated from Seoul city center though we have been meeting, or at least interacting with a few more people in the area. It's just not easy to have a 'social life' outside of Nate and I as there's little to do in the afternoons or evenings and then on the weekends we just try and get out to do as much as possible with out putting 'meeting others' high up on the list. . .while perhaps I should, I just can't seem to figure out how or why really! We have signed up to go on a ski/snowboard trip in late January over the Lunar New Year with a gang of 16 only one of whom we know and met only briefly on Halloween so, I'll keep ya updated on that as the date nears!

Enough on life. . .this post is about today and thankfully, it's almost over! I bet your as glad as I am that this post is too!

Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Parent Teacher Meeting!?

Um, so apparently Nate and I have to be at the DYB main branch in Daechi tomorrow morning by 9:30am for a "parent teacher meeting" that is supposed to last until 1pm. This doesn't sound like too big of a deal except for a few things. . .

First of all, neither of us have no idea what is going on or what we are expected to do. There's no way that we'd be able to address any parent individually as we are not familiar with any of our student's Korean names and there's a good chance that the parents speak very little English. Yes, we have asked what's going on, and no, we have not received any real information other than that we are expected to wear a suit. . .which neither of us have here in Korea.

So, I guess will just show up, dressed the nicest we can, and wing it from there. We plan on meeting at 8:00am tomorrow to take the hour plus subway ride to Daechi, despite the fact that we were given taxi fare as Joseph suggested it might take up to two hours in a cab during morning rush hour! Then, to make the day more exciting, we are expected to get back up to Junggye and start teaching again, for the first time in three weeks, as our wonderful break period has finally drawn to a close.

Tomorrow should be interesting to say the least. Oh, and as for the talent show on Saturday, apparently we're playing a Britney Spears Christmas song. . .which somehow was chosen over Nate and my Bob Marley/Beatles/Counting Crows medley that we so intricately drew up. . .Oh well, you don't get the chance to play acoustic Britney for your company's CEO every day now do ya?! Might as well make the most of it. . .at least there'll be steak!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Day of Surprises

Monday afternoon Nate and I both showed up for work a good half an hour or so before we were supposed to, assuming that we would have to resume teaching classes and in turn, lesson plan. Since none of our Korean Teachers were around when we arrived (as they usually clock in, go out to lunch, then show up minutes before class beings), we both hunkered down in the Native Room and got to work deciphering our always challenging lessons.

A little after four I heard enough rambling coming from the hallways to suggest that some of the teachers might be back from their pre-work break. I printed my current events article in the main office and headed down to Moon Young's room to get her approval on it. I guessed correctly in that she was back from lunch but was totally off on the plan for the day. I told Moon Young that I had prepared both Lesson 8 (the last in our 'Superb' book series) and a current events article as we were resuming teaching this week. She looked confused at first then reminded me, as if I should have known all along, that there would be few students this week and I in turn have 'no work.' Well. . . if you insist!

I ran back to the Native Room giddy as a schoolgirl (not really, but it seems like a fitting metaphor) to share the news with Nate. He too went to check in with his KT and was delighted to find the same thing. Thus, we begin our internet search for yet unviewed movies to download and pass the time at 'work.'

As we were preparing to settle into complacency for the rest of the day, our door suddenly opened and a flood of KT's came pouring in, led by Ana carrying a beautiful fruit topped cake. Apparently it was Claire Teacher's birthday! We turned out the lights, lit the candles and everyone shirked back from the door waiting to 'surprise' the birthday girl. For added effect Nate and I were each given a small 'popper' to shoot confetti out of as Claire entered the room, led by the ever-so-sneaky Julia.

Following a multicultural rendition of Happy Birthday, Nate and I in English, everyone else in Korean, Claire started cutting up the cake. Pieces were then stuck upside down in little paper cups normally used for tea and distributed to the teachers. As a utensil, everyone was given chopsticks. Now eating cake with chopsticks is one thing, we've actually done this before I believe on our first day of work, but eating cake with chopsticks out of a paper cup is just a whole new event unto itself. . .so enjoy the picture!


Cake out of a cup. . .with chopsticks!

After the 'party' had subsided and all the teachers returned to their classrooms (at least fifteen minutes or so after 'class' had started) we again turned our attention towards the Native Room computer: our only escape. This didn't last long however as Joseph soon burst in requesting our help as he had done many times in the previous two weeks. We have helped Joseph move books from here to there as well as stacking and re-stacking piles of mailings to go out to the parents of all DYB students.

Down in Room 102, a classroom turned storage, we helped Joseph load up four boxes full of the mailings we had previous stacked onto a rolling dolly and into a shopping cart. We then hauled the boxes downstairs and out back where we waited for Joseph to come up the elevator in his car (yes, this is how one gets into a below ground parking garage in Seoul). Loading the boxes into his car he then requested our help further taking them to the post office. Eager to get out of our drab office we readily agreed and clamored in.

A few blocks down the street we pulled up to the post office and began to unload the boxes. While they were a rather manageable size, the mailings contained within the boxes made them unbelievably heavy and moving them with any less than two people was simply not in the question. After a bit of huffing and puffing we got everything inside and and squared away. I figured at this point we had completed our task as the PO could handle it form here. . .Wrong!

Joseph again asked me if I could help then made a stamping motion towards the mailings. Wait, you want me to stamp all of those for you!? Yes please, he replied, help Julie (Princess, who ran down the street to meet us), we need to go get more boxes. So, as Nate and Joseph returned to DYB to pick up another couple of boxes, Julie and I got to work stamping packets. A postal worker gave us each a purple ink pad and a small round rubber stamp that read. . .well, something in Korean, I'd assume, 'pre-paid bulk mailing.'

At first I took my time, making sure each stamp was the correct orientation and fully legible. Glancing over I realized that Julie had long ago foregone such concerns and was apparently just trying to get through as many as she could. I took note and began to do the same!

With two of us working we actually managed to whip through the pile of what I guesstimated to be around 1000 packets (each one weighing in at 381 grams, or a little under a pound). I verified their weight by picking up a dozen of them in one hand and trying to 'bowl' them. . .yep, sure felt like a bowling ball, I guess we'll call that a 'Michigan Measurement.'

It wasn't until I finished, letting go of the stamp for the first time since picking it up, that I realized my entire hand was raw enough it had actually started to blister from grabbing the stamp so hard! Guess I'll try to relax a bit on the next batch! While we were waiting for Nate and Joseph to return, a postal worker came over to show us how we might improve our technique, first by demonstrating an acceptable, legible stamp that looked nothing like any of those that Julie or I had produced. She then showed us that by really rolling the stamp in the ink pad we could bang out two envelopes with one dip.

When Nate and Joseph showed up I got right back to work, trying out the new method. It worked. . .for a minute or two. . .until I realized that while my first stamping was simply illegible, the second one was growing faint, and illegible. Thus I gave up trying to do two-n-one. At first, Nate and Joseph tried to get on the super fun stamping job but eventually realized that too many hands hovering around the stamp pad simply held up the experts from doing their job. In turn, they resorted to assembly line like tasks that Joseph has shown us a hilarious affinity for (what I mean by this is that he has no problem handing you something to be put down within his reach).

Nate started unloading the envelopes for Princess and I to stamp while Joseph then took them from us and threw them back in a box of completed ones. With our Taylorism like efficiency in full swing we breezed through the mailings in no time, a record 1700 in all according to Joseph. Remind you, each one of these mailings weight just under a pound meaning that DYB had paid for the printing and then shipping of some 1200 lbs of DYB materials. . .no idea what the packets contained but it better have been some convincing information because that's one heck of an expensive mailing!

Having completed our job at the P.O., the three of us loaded back in to Joseph's car to head back to DYB, or so we thought. Once inside, Joseph asked us what we would like for dinner! What!? Dinner, in the middle of the work day!? Heck yeah, take us anywhere, like we care what it is! So, after driving in circles for 15 minutes (no, not because we were lost but simply because to get anywhere in Seoul, and I do mean anywhere, one literally spends half their time backtracking or making large looping circles) we eventually arrived at a small restaurant in Nowon (which is less than a 15 minutes walk away from where we started).

The four of us grabbed a seat at a well lit booth and settled into a hot meal of Seolleongtang, or ox bone soup. The meal was fantastic as we dumped a bowl of rice into the soup and dug in, not of course before munching on some of the spicy Kimchi and radish that Julie had cut up for us in the middle of the table. The soup was a milky white color with a rather inexplicable, yet very pleasing flavor. A dash of black pepper added to the green onion garnish made for a nice seasoning and the chunks of real beef (read, not chunks of overcooked fat) were a more than pleasant surprise. In fact, the meal was so good that half way through Nate had to remind me to slow down as I was nearing the bottom of my bowl! Apprently Joseph took note as well asking me if I needed more which I politely declined but, would have loved to eat!

At the end of the meal a small cultural transaction took place that I noticed but didn't ascribed any relevance to until Nate pointed it out to me again. While sitting at our table, Julie discretely passed Joseph some amount of money, apparently to pay for the meal as she outranks Joseph in the office and thus is in charge of expenses. Julie however walked outside with Nate and I as Joseph paid for the meal up front at the cash register. While this didn't seem odd at first, Nate pointed out to me that it was Julie's money that Joseph was using to pay. The conundrum here is one of social status conflicting with occupational status. You see, outranking Joseph at work, Julie is obliged to take care of the meal, however, in the public eye, as an adult male, it would be unheard of for Joseph to let either two foreigners or a young women pay. As a result, Julie passed off money to Joseph at the table who then used it to pay with. . .problem solved!

Back at work, a good couple hours after we originally showed up, Nate and I finally retired to our nothingness in the Native Room, only to find that it had growing chilly in our absence. We tested our 'stove,' or heater, which is no more than a ceramic hot plate in front of an open flame fed by an LPG tank, only to find that it flicked off after being lit for a minute or two. Uh oh, looks like we're running low on gas! This probably has something to do with the fact that we had to rescue 'our' stove from the students' study room down the hall at the beginning of the day where I would imagine that had been using it to its fullest power where as Nate and I try to conserve to some degree knowing that the tanks are not immediately replaceable. . .and when it's cold. . .it's cold!

We decided to forgo fiddling with the stove for fear of blowing ourselves out the Native Room window in a fiery ball of gas. With no class to teach, neither of us felt bad about plopping on our jackets and settling in to the final half of 'Pineapple Express,' via Ninjavideo.net. Thankfully, Joseph came in a little after nine o'clock and let us know that we could leave, which, I'm not supposed to tell you so, shhhh, you didn't hear that! We thanked him profusely and scrambled for the elevator.

Back in the 'comfort' of my Doota-abode I figured that the day's surprises were over. . . .but boy was I wrong. At around midnight I received a call from FT David at the elementary school. Apparently our upcoming work party, this Saturday, involves more than just the steak and wine we were promised. David let me know that he was informed, Monday evening, that we were expected to participate in an inter-branch FT talent show, separate from, but similar to the one we have been preparing the DYB Song for. That and we are expected to bring a small gift for a secret Santa exchange.

Well, the secret Santa should be no problem as I picked up a a hilarious All-Korean animal hat with built in gloves attached and Nate has an even better gift in store. But, as for the talent show, well we have less than five days to prepare. . .something. David and I talked briefly about it and decided that some musical performance should be in store as we seem to be able to do that but not much else. We agreed that David and I will play guitar, Sonya, the newest FT at the elementary school will sing and Nate, well, Nate will 'sing' as well though perhaps a bit quieter than Sonya as we are expecting her to actually sing. . .without quotes! Not quite sure what we're going to do or how we're going to practice it but I'll fill you in when I know more! Wish us luck!