License to. . . Drive

It took two hours, a bus ride, 18,000 krw, a 'physical,' and an multiple choice exam but in the end, I arose victorious as the proud possessor of a Korean Driver's License! I say possessor rather than owner because apparently, somewhere along the way I was forced to fork over my Michigan Operator's License which I was promised will be returned to me as soon as I return my newly acquired license, along with proof of my leaving Korea in the form of a plane ticket.

In turn, I don't really 'own' this new license as it's apparently supposed to be returned. Well, half the reason I got one was that I thought it'd be a cool souvenir so we'll see if the KDLA (Korean Driver's License Authority) ever gets it back. I can always let 'em keep my MI one and simply buy a new one. . .or then again, a better idea, I'll just tell 'em I lost it. . .or maybe I will 'lose' it, I mean, they can't deny returning my license to me. . .can they?! I'll let you know in four months!

This morning I caught the 1142 bus outside Dootavil headed towards Nowon Station where I bailed out and marched north for about 400 meters. On my left I easily found the Dobong Driver's License Examination Office surrounded by what looked like a giant obstacle course. I've seen such tracks before and apparently they are for the most novice of drivers who must first conquer these proving grounds before heading out into the gauntlet of Seoul itself!

Inside the building reminded me of any ole' DMV, institutional and banal. I found my way to the foreign desk at window 5 and managed to skip ahead of the lines waiting everywhere else. Yes! I was easily able to convey what I wanted by telling the clerk that I was headed to Jeju (more on that in a bit) in a few weeks and wanted to be able to rent a car while I'm there. She understood and got me started on the paperwork after first checking my Alien Resident Card (ARC), Driver's License, and Passport. Seeing that all three aligned, she returned the ARC and Passport to me and sent me off to fill in a large form using a laminated translator form for assistance.

Welcome to Dobong Driver's License Examination Office, Nowon-gu

After satisfactorily (is that really a word?) completing my forms, I was sent downstairs to the Physical Examination room. This worried me a bit until I remembered how quick and painless my initial health check was at Eulji Hospital. I paid a woman 5,000 won and was asked to step behind a curtained door. There I was asked to align my feet with a pair on the ground and stare at an eye chart ten feet head. Using the provided spoon thingy I covered one eye and then the other reading the letters that the attendant pointed to. I immediately detected a hint of apathy coming from this woman which was confirmed as I blurted out the wrong letter on the top row as I had thought she wanted me to read the whole row, not just the letter she was specifically pointing to. However, she seemed to either not notice or not care about my blunder and passed me all the same!

A handful of stamps later I was sent back upstairs to Window 5. I was congratulated and then given a specific set of instructions to carry out, assisted by a nice little hand drawn diagram. I forked over a head shot I had taken a Lotte Mart the day before which was then affixed to my form. The bottom part of the first page was removed and then I was sent off to Window 1. Here I paid 6,000 won for what looked like two postage stamps. I then took the stamps over to Window 3 where they were affixed to my form for me. Of course, at each step along the way my identify was confirmed by checking my ARC, Passport or both.

Passed my 'Physical'

After getting making sure my stamps were on nice and tight I was sent to the second floor where I was ushered quietly into a large lecture hall like room filled with computer stations. I was told to turn off my phone and stash my bag in one of the small cubbies up front. I then was seated at a touch screen computer where I was given instructions as to how to respond to the 20 multiple choice questions I then faced. This was hilarious!

The woman downstairs, in an effort to relax me I imagine, reassured me that the test was no problem for foreigners. She was almost right. Not only was the wording of the questions absolutely hilarious and somewhat incomprehensible, but the subject matter bordered on absurd. Ironically, one of the questions asked which of the following statements would be most absurd,' and I was at a loss, unable to find the 'all of the above' selection!

While I'm pretty sure I nailed the ones about stopping at red lights and proceeding through four way stops with caution, I'm not entirely sure about what the 'reversible lane' is used for, what crime yields the maximum penalty or what the relationship is between air pressure and gasoline consumption. For the latter I went out on a limb and assumed that lower pressure meant higher consumption in that less oxygen in the air would mean the engine would have to work harder. Anyone wanna help me with this one?!

I eventually finished all 20 questions and hit the 'end' button, wholly expecting to fail the test as I wasn't really sure about any of the answers! I was surprised when I was immediately informed by the screen that I passed with 85%. Not bad, only three wrong! I managed to hold in my excitement as the room was filled with other test takers who looked as though they fully intended on using the allotted time of 50 minutes. Once out in the hallway however I couldn't hold it any longer and literally burst out laughing at the absurdity of the test I had just taken and, miraculously, passed! This of course drew a number of strange looks so I bolted back downstairs to Window 5.

Not sure what my stamps bought but they sure do look pretty

I was congratulated on my 'victory' and then again ushered down to Window 1 where I forked over another 6,000 won for another pair of stamps. These two were again affixed, via Window 3, to the other side of my form. Finally I returned the completed material triumphantly to Window 5. I was told that my license would be ready in 40 minutes and to pick it up then. Nooo problem!

Seeing as how the rain of the past two weeks had finally cleared and the temperature was starting to push 70, I figured it'd be a great time to head outside and do some reading in the sun. Of course, I was alone in the this venture as all the Koreans quickly scuttled past covering themselves with anything they could find in order to prevent the evil rays of our dearest and nearest start from hurting them.

Korean Azaleas in bloom

Other than the gawking school girls who passed I was left entirely alone until just before returning to the office. An elderly gentleman rode up on a bike and began talking to me loudly about East Lansing, Michigan as I was wearing an old soccer shirt. He began going on and on about America this and that being great (I think) and then decided to show me an interesting article he read in the paper this morning. Something about how the wives of both Spain and France's Prime Ministers are, well, hot. I'm not entirely sure what his point was but I think he was making some reference to how pathetic it was that such a subject was news worthy. I agreed with this barrage of words, which was more like a rain shower of spittle, an encouraged him to enjoy his day. . .elsewhere!

He did eventually leave but not before telling me that I look like I'm from the Church of Latter-day Saints, which, according to him is a good thing as he often attends their services. At this pointed I was tempted to, but thankfully didn't, point out that the book I was reading (Under the Banner of Heaven, by Jon Krakauer) was in fact entirely about this burgeoning religion and it's not-so-nice offshoots. Perhaps he was better at English then he let on and somehow noted what I was reading about. Perhaps he was in fact an LDS member. Either way, it was creepily coincidental!

How friendly everyone was! Even the signs!

Just under and hour later, as my unexpected conversation lasted much longer than I would have liked, I returned to Window 5 where I was presented with my very own Korean Driver's License! I tried one last ditch effort to get my MI license back but my request seemed to almost offend the woman so I quickly let it go, figuring it wasn't the end of the world. While I haven't had a lot of interaction with Korean Government, thankfully, I can't imagine their bureaucratic processes being any less, and certainly not any more, flexible than those I've grown accustomed to. . .so it was a losing battle from the beginning!

Nevertheless, I am now the proud possessor of my very own Korean Driver's License! Wish me luck!

Can't stop me now!