Happily Never After?!

Yesterday Nate and I received invitations to Elle's, the teacher who recently replaced Ji-Young, wedding ceremony this Saturday. Apparently, we were not initially invited as it was questionable whether or not we would have any interest in attending and consequently, giving an invitation might have been perceived as fishing for wedding gifts! Not the case!

When made aware of the wedding's proximity I was enthused at the possibility of attending. I've always figured that weddings, funerals, births and birthday parties in other countries are some of the most important cultural events that one can attend. Even if modern ceremonies have been 'Westernized' to a degree, each of these important rituals usually reflects a great deal about the host countries people and ideology. So far I have been lucky enough to attend one wedding in the United States, one in St. Thomas, one in Ghana, and one in Turkey! Not a bad collection as I hope to soon add South Korea to the list.

So, telling the other teachers that we would be honored to attend, word must have gotten around to Elle who presented us each with our own invitation yesterday. The outside of which reads "Wedding Day," the inside, of course, is all Korean. As the majority of teachers in our branch will be attending, we hope that we can find one who will escort us to the wedding as we have no real idea where it is or how to get there!

There is a sad side to this story however. A few weeks ago Nate was talking to Elle about the wedding and congratulated her, as one should seemingly do in this situation. Elle responded that she was not excited and in fact, did not desire to wed at such a young age (26 Korean I believe). She said that she loves her boyfriend but does not wish to marry him now for it will force her into the subservient life of a Korean housewife, cooking, cleaning and looking after him. As a young woman who has lived on her own for only a few years, this is obviously accepting a rather large burden. . .unwillingly!

Elle has told her family numerous times that she does not wish to wed yet they are forcing her, for reasons that I think we just cannot quite understand. While we Americans would think "Why doesn't she just not do it!?" that simply isn't an option in Korea. To not follow her parents' direction would be so disgraceful that it would most likely ruin not only her but her whole family's reputation. . .not worth the price of only one woman's 'freedom' apparently!

This does not seem to be that uncommon of a practice however as we were shocked to hear a similar report the other day from A-Young, Anna Teacher. Last Friday as we were leaving school, Nate and I asked Anna if she had any big plans for the weekend. We learned that it was in fact her 10th wedding anniversary and that she and her husband would be celebrating on a small island near Incheon, off the western coast of Korea.

Again, ignorant to Korean marriage culture, we were silly enough to congratulate her on the occasion. Anna informed us that she was not excited and that is was not a happy celebration. . .which was really, really awkward to hear! She informed us that she was married much to early and does not enjoy being a housewife. Whoa. . .lotta information to take in at once and subsequently try to respond to. Nate offered condolence saying that it's exciting that she and her husband have managed to stay wed for so long. . .but again, this was received rather negatively. Oops! We tried!

It really just seems like people are forced in to marriage, especially woman, whenever the family deems it necessary. Perhaps it is for social but more likely economic gain for the family. Either way, it seems like quite the raw deal for the women who are immediately subjected to a life of servitude towards their husbands which they may, or may not, love.

I guess this answers the question that we have continued to ask each other about why the teachers stay out so late when they have families at home! It's simply because they do not necessarily love, or need the presence of their husbands to be happy. It appears as if going out and drinking all night is not only a release, but an expected release from the duties of Korean Womanhood. Rough. . .but at least they don't have to go home early (meaning midnight) every night!

Anyways, I'm excited to see the wedding, assuming that we are able to find out way to and fro! I would imagine that I can take pictures and hopefully will be able to share them with everyone! That's all for now!

Pictures from Seoul Tower have been added below!