100th Day!

We all measure time passed in our own way; by celebrating another completed year of life on our birthdays, acknowledging the changing seasons, counting down to special dates or preparing for long awaited anniversaries. Here in Korea, I count completed days!

Well, not really, on a given day I'd be able to give you a ballpark figure of how long I've been here but certainly do not wake up and make a new notch on the wall every morning. I do however do a few things to help not only pass the time but make the passing time seem relevant.

Once upon a time, someone, I believe it was cousin Stef, told me that I, like her, am a 'counter.' This means that we selectively, yet often inexplicably, count things. . .whether this is done intentional or subconsciously, I don't know, but, it happens! Here in Korea I find myself counting how long I've been, but in a number of different ways.

I know for example that I've paid utilities twice, played in eleven soccer games, collected three paychecks, and, at the time of this writing, am 28% done with my contract. How do I figure that last number you ask? Easy! It's perhaps my favorite to calculate as it takes little to no thought and offers me something to look forward to at the end of each week.

You see, I agreed to a year long contract here in Seoul: 52 weeks. Fortunately, however, I am allowed two weeks of vacation. That brings the total number of weeks that I have to work down to an even 50. Divide that into a hundred and you realize that each completed work week brings me two percent closer to the end of my obligation at DYB! Well it's not as neurotic as actually counting days, it still allows me the chance to have some sense of progress, accompanied by a little celebration every now and then!

The reason I'm telling you this, well, I'm not too sure actually. All I really meant to say is that today, the 29th of November, marks my 100th full day of living in Seoul! How exciting, right!? And, in order to celebrate this festive occasion, Nate and I spent the past week compiling a list of 100 observations about life here in the 'Land of the Morning Calm.'

While the original list was divided into categories, I decided to erase the headings in order to avoid a restrictive framework that would allow critics to say things such as "I can't believe you didn't mention _____ under the _____ category," or "Is _____ really an issue that relates to ______?" Not that any of you would do that, but, there are a heck of a lot of grumpy foreigners here who seem to have little to do other than critique others via this world wide interweb. . . not me of course! Okay. . .I'm lying. . .I took away the titles because I couldn't figure out how to keep the numbering continuous with occasional interruptions for sections headings. . .you caught me, congratulations!

The list below reflects our own, personal observations and cannot, nor should not be taken as a comprehensive picture of life in Seoul. Neither however should it be ignored or overlooked. . .this is perhaps the most important reading you will do this week, for next time someone asks you about pickled cabbage or soju etiquette, you will feel at ease knowing that you are well versed on such subjects.

Interesting enough, one of the speaking tests that Nate and I had to correct this past week was from the point of view of a foreigner who had been living in Seoul for almost two years. While I do not remember the exact wording (which, ironically, is what I was checking for), the character made the observation that Seoul is a very different place from his home. . .not that it is all together backwards but simply that there are a lot of small differences, and these, are what he notices most!

This short dialogue resonated deeply with me. My life in Korea, thus far, is so wildly different from life in the states yet so markedly similar at the same time. I live in an apartment with running water and electricity, I have a job, a boss, and coworkers, I can watch tv when I please, I go to restaurants, bars, museums and movies, I have friends (sort of), I use my cellphone almost everyday (and I actually pay the bill myself), and, I can keep in touch with those at home via the Google and highspeed interweb. In this sense, life is normal. Yet believe me, life in South Korea is not, in any way, normal!

Below I think you'll find that some of our observations are not all that strange or maybe not even unique to Korea. . .but, let me tell you, when you add 'em all up, you're living in a different world!

Enjoy!

100 Observations after 100 Days in Seoul

1. Koreans love Korean food.
2. Supposedly, "everyone in the world loves kimchi," though we've yet to find anyone outside of Korea that knows about it.
3. At least one side dish of varying types is served with every meal.
4. The most common side dishes are cold kimchi (pickled cabbage) and some variation of pickled radish.
5. There are dozens of varieties of kimchi and each family has it's own 'secret' recipe.
6. Kimchi can be prepared a number of ways. . .favorites include steamed, grilled and boiled.
7. It is possible to eat an entire meal of only side dishes known as hanjeongsik.
8. Eating is refueling only, nothing about it is satisfying.
9. Any 'hot' dish is served unbelievably hot, as in boiling!
10. Chili peppers are used liberally, making every dish, no matter what, extremely spicy.
11. Almost every single dish consists of or is accompanied by rice.
12. In Korean, "let's go eat," literally means "let's have rice."
13. It is not uncommon to eat a second dinner between three and five in the morning.
14. All Korean food is "good for health."
15. Many people enjoy dog soup, though it is technically illegal to distribute.
16. There are no bathtubs.
17. Sinks are connected to a free hanging shower head. Either one or the other is on, not both.
18. Bathrooms are all-inclusive one-room washrooms in which you can shit, shower and shave all at the same time.
19. Washing machines are also located in the bathroom so you can clean your clothes and body simultaneously.
20. Dryers do not exist, therefore clothes are perpetually stiff and ever so gradually stretched out.
21. Heating comes through pipes under the floors known as ondol.
22. Shoes are not, under any circumstances, to be worn in apartments, even your own.
23. Separate footwear should be used for the bathroom and living area.
24. 'Sheets' do not exist, people sleep between two, equally uncomfortable blankets.
25. Ovens are an extreme luxury, the majority of cooking is done on a two burner, portable gas stove.
26. Trash collection is public though the appropriate bags must be purchased at a convenience store.
27. Garbage is simply piled up outside in matching bags until it disappears. . .there is no apparent 'trash day.'
28. Work sponsored meetings (read, parties) will easily last until sunrise the next day.
29. But make sure you understand "the difference between your private and professional life."
30. Showing up to work hungover, but on time, is commendable. . .it is a sign of strength and commitment.
31. Showing up even a minute late causes utter chaos.
32. Each day, thousands of students are delivered to Junggye-dong via buses ranging in size from a small VW to a full on touring coach.
33. It is not unusual for students to study at academy until well after midnight during the week.
34. Elderly women, or ajumas, commonly wear ridiculous sun visors (see Halloween for reference).
35. T-Shirt sayings make absolutely no sense yet are not acknowledged by their owners.*
36. "Mickey Mouse" rivals "Michigan Football" for the most common shirt design.
37. Shoes are a huge status symbol.
38. Korean women wear heels an inappropriate amount, but not as much as the Japanese.
39. All Korean women scuttle. . .it is the quickest, safest, and goofiest way to travel in heels.
40. School uniforms are worn by all students except those in elementary school.
41. Hair length and style is as regulated as the uniforms.
42. Koreans will dress to the nines for whatever sport or activity they are participating in.
43. Mountain climbing, or 'hiking,' is a serious, serious undertaking for Koreans.
44. Absolutely no one runs or jogs for exercise.
45. Rollerbladers will do small circles around prescribed tracks with the form and dress of racing Olympic ice skaters.
46. Static workout machines are located in absolutely every park.
47. Mountain bikes are ridden along flat river trails but walked up inclines and over curbs.
48. No dog is bigger than a small cockier spaniel. . .unless your ex-military and have a retired German Shepard.
49. Dogs wear costumes, sweaters, and shoes. . .come on, Hobbes never even wore shoes.
50. Rabbits are sold on the streets of Itaewon.
51. As are fish and turtles.
52. Karaoke is not sung in public but rather in small rooms known as norebongs.
53. Movies, out on video, can also be viewed privately in small rooms called, DVD Bongs.
54. Computer games are played in giant smoke filled rooms, PC Bongs.
55. The newest Playstation games can be tried out at any local Playstation Bong.
56. Cellphones not only work half a dozen stories underground but can receive television signals and video chat as well.
57. According the majority of Koreans, "there is nothing to do in Korea but drink."
58. Soju, a clear liquor (around 20% abv) distilled from grains, usually rice, is Korea's libation of choice.
59. A 12 oz bottle of soju costs about 900 won or roughly 60 cents.
60. Drinking is always to be accompanied by eating, whether it be a full meal or snacking on dried squid.
61. For general 'sickness,' a bottle of soju taken with red pepper is the recommended antidote.
62. Soju companies use giveaway promotions similar to soda companies.
63. You can buy soju in 5 litre plastic jugs. . . for picnics, I guess?
64. Soju mixes with anything and it's terrible taste instantly disappears. . .this is dangerous!
65. There is never an inappropriate time to drink soju.
66. There are mid-mountain soju stops that help hikers refuel.
67. Koreans measure themselves by how many bottles of soju they can drink at a time.
68. Our boss once threatened to "drown us in Soju."
69. Soju hits you like a wild haymaker. . .first you're there. . .then you're not.
70. The haymaker is guaranteed to be ringing in your head the next morning, undoubtedly.
71. All stereotypes about Asian drivers are true.
72. Sidewalks are not just for people but cars and motorcycles as well.
73. It is not uncommon for people to be hit by cars and or motorcycles.
74. Traffic accidents appear to be resolved before the light changes again.
75. If an accident requires investigation, a police officer will outline the scene in spray paint and move the vehicles in order to free up traffic almost immediately.
76. No one ever seems to be too shaken up by an accident.
77. Red lights mean stop. . .if you want them to.
78. If you plan on running a red, simply lay on the horn and speed up.
79. Taxis are immune to any and all traffic laws. . .or so it seems.
80. Looking out the front window of a taxi while on the highway looks like a video game, no joke.
81. Subway signs are all in Chinese, English and Korean.
82. Station exits are numbered and distinguished by the landmarks that they lead to.
83. The subway closes shortly before midnight.
84. Shortly after midnight taxi fares jump markedly.
85. Bus information is almost entirely in Korean.
86. Buses always have the right of way.
87. If you take the subway within an hour of riding a bus you are only charged the fare for one.
88. All public transportation is extremely efficient.
89. Rush hour is between nine at night and one in the morning.
90. Koreans do not acknowledge the idea of tact or prudence.
91. Compliments do not exist, only a lack of complaints.
92. Your Boss is God.
93. Present giving is a way of life and expected by everyone.
94. Take and receive with two hands.
95. Anything that is exchanged is presented (ex. doughnuts are handed over at Dunkin' Doughnuts as if they were crown jewels).
96. Rock, Paper, Scissors solves literally any dispute.
97. Men who don't smoke are rare, women who smoke are whores.
98. Koreans do not sleep.
99. They work. And drink.
100. And last, but not least, if you're ever asked, remember, Dokdo is Korean.

*Best T-Shirt Sayings

The following shirts were all adorned by middle school girls. . .

1. "I Love My Hookers."

2. "I'm in my prime"

3."Black Girls Wear White Nickers,

White Girls Wear Black Nickers,

Loose Girls Wear No Nickers."



Thank you for keeping up to date, and, if you made it this far, we'd love to hear what you think!!

-Adam and Nate